THOUGHTS ON: Babymetal - Metal Resistance... (All of it)

I post this as a collection of thoughts, rather then a actual review because of one simple fact: I don't believe this album deserves an actual review. Do take note that I've never hated Babymetal and I've stuck up for them quite a bit, because face it - Pop/Metal hybrids are not that uncommon and I don't really get why anyone ever thought they were. Even Devin Townsend, one of the biggest names out there, has pretty much done it. Don't believe me? He started the slow drip with 'Synchestra,' then went full on with one of his most popular albums 'Addicted' and continued the whole Pop/metal hybrid thing with 'Epicloud' and even 'Skyblue.' There are countless examples, even In Flames did it with the track Dead End on 'Come Clarity.' The Pop/metal argument is stupid, and so are you for participating in it - do your homework because the damned sub-genre has been there since before it existed in the first place. You want don't little girls doing metal? Listen to Murp and live with it, this is here and this exists.

Rant Done.

Now, the album? It's garbage. 'Metal Resistance' is a collection of bits and pieces, songs constructed from a bunch of fools doing a google search for 'popular metal sub-genres' and then writing a bunch of random songs to fit. It's almost as bad as the band's utterly scripted response during interviews, where when asked what their favorite band/influences are they shout out the easiest response in the history of mankind - 'Metallica!' Seriously. Worst yet, they got some genuine talent behind these tracks and all of it's guest musicians are horribly wasted on the most cookie-cutter, generic, songs you could possibly think of. What the hell is Dragonforce doing here? Clearly they haven't become so irrelevant that they have to try and skulk into something so fueled by internet opinion? Well, here is my opinion: Road to Resistance is a shitty uninspired track designed to lure Dragonforce fan's into buying this album.

Sure, I mentioned in an earlier article that KARATE was a great single, and it still is. However, the track poorly reflects the rest of the album - any track would. Why? Absolutely nothing is connected in any way, at least not one comprehensible to the human mind. Every single song is a completely different sub-genre, aside from a few utterly generic J-Rock songs that really just divert Babymetal from it's original basis: being a fucking metal band. The worst of it all is 'Meta Taro,' in which Babymetal takes a shoddy attempt at Viking Metal. It is painful, so hard to describe that I'm actually repeatedly deleting lines trying to think of the words to describe what I've heard - so here it is: Corporate Kids do Amon Amarth. There you go. I said it. If you think that's bad enough, they even dabbled in ambient Tesseract-style song-writing with Dusk Til Dawn, but at least that didn't make me cringe. Oddly, every track seems to have completely different production values attached to it - making some songs sound insanely better, some more over-produced, and others far worst then the rest of this short-sighted amalgamation.

The worst part of all this is that Babymetal's initial album actually had some flow to it, it all fit together and it all made sense as a whole. Most songs were catchy, if not simple, and you could listen to a song and actually know what album you were listening to. It was a album, not a collection of corporate mandated musical experiments. Speaking of corporate, I can sense the presence of Amuse, Inc here. This whole album stinks of their short-sighted meddle - no doubt their inexperience with the genre leading to some desperate do-it-all deduction, possibly since these girls are growing up and maturing as women. Guys, they say 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' for a reason. Metal has always been OK with older men, women, or otherwise - there is a place and no, I personally wouldn't mind seeing Babymetal go on into the far future. But, shovel-albums like this just don't fly once people actually sit down and realize what they're listening to.

My Thoughts Summarized: